And neither one of those hands belongs to you, the patient.
Let me explain.
I had my 28 week appointment yesterday and it started off less than stellar. My group has three offices and I went to a satellite office for the appointment. The one that was written down on my appointment card. I, for the life of me, could not figure out why the receptionist was staring at me like I had dog in a carrier and asking to see the vet. She then told me that I was in the wrong office and all of the OB's were in the other two offices that day. OK, clearly there had been a mistake... but I could have done without the attitude that it was my fault because I'm pregnant and can't remember things. In any event, I asked if I could reschedule at the correct office and was told to just head over now.
Thirty minutes later and coasting into the parking lot on fumes in my gas tank, I was sitting in the correct office waiting to see one of the group doctors. This doctor will be known as Dr. MissesTheMark from now on. He is the doctor that was fantastically calm when I was in the ER after the ectopic rupture and was about to get a blood transfusion. He then confused me, when, 24 hours later, told me that I was fine to go back to work on Monday (48 hours post transfusion, 72 hours post emergency surgery). But, I always remembered that he was to the point and someone I'd want around if things were to head south again. Remember, I'm not looking for best friends, just competent doctors. OK, back to the appointment. Right now, Tiny T is set to arrive on 12/31 and for a myriad of reasons, I'd prefer 12/28. This is 1 day shy of the recommendation of scheduling repeat c-sections at 39 weeks. Dr. MissesTheMark, is the one on call that week. SO - my hope of some rule bending rests squarely with him.
The appointment started off surprisingly well. He said that I was looking great, the heart beat was fantastic and things looked good. He did not measure my stomach, which I thought odd.. but ignored. Then he asked about movement and for accuracy, I'm just going to quote the next few minutes of conversation. I'll admit, I will be sharing Tiny T's gender in a less than climatic way... but I just can't leave that part out.
Dr. MissesTheMark "So, strong kicks. Do you know if this is a boy or a girl."
Me, "Yes, we are having another little boy"
Dr. MTM, "Oh, really. Another boy. That's OK, your third will be a girl."
Me (almost fell off the table with a fiery red face), "Well, unless there is going to be sweeping reform to health insurance that guarantees IVF coverage for all. This will be our last child."
Dr. MTM, "Oh, don't say that. So many women think that they are done and then find themselves pregnant years later."
Me (furious and about to cry at the same moment), "Um, I'm not sure if you've had a chance to look at my chart. But, my remaining tube is to be removed at the time of delivery. So, I'm pretty sure we won't be having any unplanned, miracle babies."
Dr. MTM, "Oh, so you are having a tubal ligation."
Me, "No, removal of the tube. It is already scared over from the previous ectopic."
Dr. MTM, "Well, why would you do that."
OK, I'll spare you the rest of this interchange. I tried to summarize why the other doctor in the practice had suggested this and then just gave up. Our conversation finished with him saying that we had plenty of time to make decisions and nothing needed to be firmed up at that appointment.
I.almost.died. For many reasons. I've been pretty vocal about the idea that I am still adjusting to the idea that I would like more children and feel sad that this is the situation I find myself in. In the last few months, I have worked really hard to make my peace with this and had gotten to a really good place. I am grateful to even be having a second child. REGARDLESS of gender. I am excited to have my two boys and love that Toddler T will have a brother. I have been fielding 'sympathic' congratulations over the past 2 months regarding the idea that I'm having two boys. It stings, because most people have no idea what we went through to get to this point and again, people can be dumb. BUT, this was from my doctor and he had seen me at a time when I was very.very low.
Bedside manner aside, it was so frustrating to have one doctor suggest the removal of the tube (for my well being) and another doctor look at me like I had begun to speak in Yiddish.
I go back in three weeks to see the doctor I like best. She'll be Dr. Sunshine. She is the one recommending the removal of the tube and I have no problems telling her my thoughts on Dr. MissesTheMark.
In other news. Hello Third Trimester... Thank you for causing an extreme amount of muscle pain in my lower left abdomen. Welcome Braxton Hicks Contractions, thanks for coming to the party and Feet, how nice of you to begin swelling. I am not joking, all of these things started to happen over night. I am out of breath and am truly realizing that I need to slow down (some).
Mr. T and I are still miles apart on names, although Mr. T and my mom seem to agree on several. I've started picking up baby gear as I'm out and about. Mr. T also painted the baby's room and assembled all of the nursery furniture last weekend. I bought some new pacifiers and Toddler T wanted to put them in the crib so that his baby brother would be able to find them. It was really sweet.
I'm getting really excited that Mr. Tiny T is going to be here soon and I really can't wait to see Toddler T as a big brother.