When I started this blog, my goal was to document the challenges that came with dealing with my secondary infertility and raising a toddler. Well, I have overcome the infertility and my toddler is now a pre-schooler, but I still find myself balancing between the two. I guess I should look at this as good practice for balancing the needs of a 3 1/2 year old and a newborn. Where am I going with all of this?
I'm not sure. I think that I'm coming to the realization that even though my treatment phase of infertility is over, it doesn't mean that my life will calm down. Here is a rundown on the week, so far.
Monday afternoon, Mr. T and I made the very difficult decision to put our cat down. She had become agressive and had bitten twice. The final straw was when she bit Toddler T. Maddie-Cat (as Toddler T nicknamed her) developed a big problem with anxiety over the past few years. She became skittish, agressive and very anxious. We had her checked out by the vet (several times) and adopted the lifestyle of not letting her around our friends' kids or letting Toddler T be alone with her. Last, Friday morning we were both petting her and she reached over and bit him. No meow, no growl, no warning. Just a bite. We realized then, that a very anxious cat, prone to biting and terrified of most people and all animals would not be high on the adoption list at the shelter. We also realized that leaving her for months on end, in a cage, surrounded by animals seemed harsh and inhumane. With a very heavy heart, I surrendered her to the SPCA with a plan to be put down that afternoon. It was not pleasant and I felt my heart break as I passed her over to the tech. I felt even worse for Mr. T because regardless of all of her flaws, that cat loved him the most. Now, she is gone and if Toddler T asks, she is out exploring.
Still feeling down, I answered the phone on Tuesday morning and saw LabCorp. on the caller ID. It was our genetic counselor and she was calling to review our CVS results. Tiny T has been given an A+ rating (genetically speaking). I felt an enormus weight lift from my shoulders and similar to other IF Bloggers, felt like I could really attach myself to the idea that this all may work out in the end. I called both of our moms and passed on the good news.
This morning at swim lessons, I even told one of the other moms that I was expecting. (I didn't just outright announce it, she asked if I had other children.) It felt normal and comfortable and easier to embrace the idea that I am going to be a mother to two children.
With this renewed pep in my step, Toddler T and I left swim lessons and headed off to pick up lunch for our park play date. Toddler T picked a bagel with cream cheese and a larger than life cookie, I picked up a turkey wrap and headed to the register. While paying, I noticed that Toddler was showing a great amount of interest on a cabinet door, immediatly to my left. I signed my credit card receipt and told him that I was time to go. Then I heard, "Mommy, my finger is stuck."
Ok, no need to panic. Let me check out the situation. I go and bend down and realize that he has gotten his finger stuck in the cabinet pull. It was stainless steel and looked like a very large and very tight ring around his left middle finger. I draw apon my 7 years experience as a lifeguard and call up anything that I remember from first aid training. I try to wet his finger and shimmy it out. All this does, is cause him to scream and cry out. The clerk comes around and I ask her to get me ice and cream of any kind. His finger is swelling and I know that the ice will cause the swelling to come down and the cream should help me wiggle his finger out. I am still not panicked. I attempt both, while his cries are getting louder and more urgent. His finger begins to take on a blue-ish tint and I know that I need to step up my game. I then have visions of us going to the hospital with a cabinet door stuck to his finger, but A. I can't figure out how to get the door off the hinges and B. am not sure I'd be able to get him into a carseat with said cabinet attached. I had a vision of calling 911, but in the moment, that seemed too extreme. So, I called Mr. T. The problem with this move was that he was 20 minutes away and couldn't quite hear me over Toddler T's crying. I handed the phone to a very nervous clerk and asked her to relay what had happened and ask him to head on over.
I then panicked (on the inside). I loudly said to the clerk, or anyone who would listen, that the door needed to come off immediatly because I needed to take my son to the hospital. All of the sudden, this young guy bends down and says, "The cabinet pull needs to come off." Yes, finally someone who seems to get it. He disappears and comes back with a drill. This was great because it was the same drill that Daddy has and it gave me the chance to talk to Toddler T about Handy Manny. This kind man, unscrewed the hinge while being super sweet to Toddler T. The clerk then disappeared and returned with an incident report and a camera. I'll admit, going over my info was the last thing I felt like doing. But I did want to get the construction worker's name. I signed what I needed to. Called and told Mr. T to meet us at the hospital. Got some more ice, wrapped Toddler T's hand with and a towel and ice(cabinet pull still attached) and headed out to the hosptial.
The hardest part was driving and obeying traffic while Toddler T was crying in the back. I just kept thinking, thank god this is nothing worse. We met Mr. T and quickly went back to a room. I could see that Toddler T was scared but just kept reminding him that his Mana is a nurse and this hospital is just like her hospital. Luckily, he was seen fast and with a fair amount of brute force, some tears and a firm hug from Mommy, the Physican's Assistant was able to manuver to steel ring off his finger. The nurse came in, handed us our paperwork and said that this would be the first of many trips to the ER. We left with an ice pack and went and got hamburgers and ice cream.
Toddler T is now napping. The clerk just called to check on him and I was able to get the contact information for the construction worker. As far as first ER trips go, this one was fairly benign and I am most grateful for that. Seeing a perfect stranger step in and help my son, when I couldn't... that I don't even have words for.