Sunday, November 18, 2012

So much to say....

Ok, I've been away. The days are flying by and I have all of these little stories collected in my head. But then, when Toddler T falls asleep, the thought of typing them out, exhausts me. Simply, exhausts me. But, do you know what? Too much has happened in these past few weeks. So, here goes, my very random update.

Hurricane Sandy:
She destroyed my precious shoreline and kept many of my friends and family without power and heat for more than a week. Through quick phone calls and text messages, you could hear the strain that is life without power. I am thankful that while it was a long two weeks for many that I love, the damage was minimal. It was surreal to watch so many people just lose everything on account of a storm surge. Here in Pennsylvania, we made a few storm preparations and waited to lose our power. We filled up the bathtub with water, bought lots of non-perishable snacks and went to about 5 stores to locate batteries. Luckily, the most we had was some flickering lights and a lot of sticks in our yard.  Very lucky, indeed.

The boy who did not cry wolf, AKA Toddler T:
Toddler T had a cough. It was pretty bad. It was also accompanied by a cold. Also, pretty bad and not quite going away. But, he is in nursery school and almost every other child was coughing and being sent home with tissues in their jacket pockets. We tried his humidifier, Benadryl, lots of tissues, OJ and very lengthy naps. We had hit about 3 weeks without much change and I just assumed that this was the case of one cold on top of another and nothing to be too concerned about. (For the record, I am currently writing my Mother of the Year speech). In the days leading up to Hurricane Sandy, Toddler T started waking up from his nap crying about his ear. Finally, with the weathermen talking non-stop about Frankenstorm, I made an appointment. I told the doctor that I was pretty convinced that this was nothing more than a cold, but was getting a little freaked out by the hurricane talk, so I just wanted him checked. For the record, over the last two winters, Toddler T has sounded exactly like this and we have had numerous checks at the doctor only to be told that he has a COLD.  Not this time, bronchitis and a double ear infection. I felt horrible. HORRIBLE. Two rounds of antibiotics later, he no longer sounds like he belongs on a TB ward.

Speaking of a TB-like cough:
I picked up the same cough as Toddler T. I kept telling myself it was a cold and it would go away. Even after Toddler T saw his doctor and was given antibiotics, I just assumed I'd get better on my own. But then I started getting short of breath. And couldn't really do anything without feeling like a 77 year old, 2 pack a day smoker for 50 years, carrying around an oxygen tank and clutching her chest due to heart palpitations. It was getting bad, but I attributed this all to a cold and being pregnant. I remembered feeling short of breath when I was pregnant with Toddler T and didn't want to make a fool of myself with an unnecessary visit to my primary care doctor. So, I mentioned it at my 31 week check up. OB's do what they do best, and all other medical needs are sent out (or so my OB told me).  So, I reluctantly made an appointment with my primary care doctor and hoped he didn't laugh at me for being nothing more than a short of breath pregnant lady.

Was I wrong.
Here is what's normal. Asthma getting worse during pregnancy. Feeling short of breath when pregnant and having an upper respiratory infection making everything worse. Here's what's not. Fighting to take a breath.  (Which is what I was doing by that point.)  My doctor explained that the reality was I having such a tough time breathing due to a combination of the first three normal things. But,  he was also concerned that I could be experiencing peri-natal congestive heart failure and or a pulmonary embolism.  He found the latter to be extremely unlikely, but felt it need to be explored. So, I got a nebulizer treatment, a prescription for an antibiotic, a new inhaler, and EKG and a referral for an echocardiogram to happen 'sooner rather than later'. I was also told to go straight to the ER if my breathing worsened at all and he then called me at home to check on me that night. His initial reaction was correct in that it was a combo or being pregnant, having asthma and bronchitis. I was not in peri-natal congestive heart failure. 

A day of remembrance and Two Birthdays:
October 28th would have been the day we would have celebrated a 1st birthday had I not had the first ectopic pregnancy. I only paused on this for a moment or two throughout the week. I could not imagine  my life with a 3 1/2 year old and a 1 year old. I think it would be crazy, but I did wonder what that little collection of cells might have grown to become. In the end, I decided that more than anything, I am happy and grateful to be where I am. I also had a birthday coming up and rang in the big 35 with Mr. T, dinner and a movie and two new camera lenses that I have been wanting for a long. long time.  We then kept up the celebrations as my nephew celebrated his 1st birthday. I ate a lot of cake in a 48 hour period.

And so we meet again:
I was minding my own business. I was running into Target to pick up Toddler T's vitamins and get a few birthday presents before we meeting friends for lunch at Chick Fil A. I was focused and I had a list. I did not plan on running into my old OB/GYN. The one who patted my hand after ectopic #1 and remarked that it should not have ruptured. The one who I trusted to hear my symptoms and point me in the right direction. The one who told me that I did not have a viable pregnancy with ectopic # 2.  Yes, her. She was leaving Target and I noticed that she had since had a 3rd baby since I last saw her. And I was struck by how mad I instantly got. Did she know? Did she have any idea what I went through to get to where I am today? Did she care? I knew that I did not want to be crazy pregnant lady in the parking lot, so I just kept on walking.  But, did she have to be at Chick Fil A thirty minutes later, sitting caddy-corner to my friend and I?  Did we all have to occupy the same damn place space? I wanted to say something. I wanted to let her know just what I've been up to. But then I realized, that day, she was a mom out with her kids. She wasn't in her scrubs and she was no longer my doctor. I moved on and drank the rest of Toddler T's oreo milkshake.

What' Next:
Well hopefully, a more timely post. Thanksgiving dinner here at the T household with my dad's side of the family (18 adults and 5 kids). We are frying two turkeys and I cannot wait to have the house full with my family. I'll see the doctor this week for my 33 week check up. I will again play dumb and say that I forgot the cup. I will also attempt to get some Christmas pictures of Toddler T and order our Christmas Cards.  

Wow, that was a lot to say... Oh, and Tiny T is great too!

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