It took 20 weeks, seeing some of my extended family in person and waiting to have the anatomy scan to put our news out there for the world to know. It was really more of a formality, as most of the people I see on a regular basis were aware of my growing stomach. Nevertheless, it was nice to put out that Facebook announcement. I bought a shirt for Toddler T that said "BEST BIG BRO" and before dinner, I was able to get a really cute picture of him wearing it AND smiling. I posted it and it has been really sweet to read comments and well wishes. This IF thing can stick with a girl, because, as soon as I hit POST, I felt conflicted. While I couldn't be happier sharing our news, because I know the path we have taken, I felt such a heightened sense of loss for those still fighting the fight. I can remember scrolling through my news feed and feeling blindsided by announcements of friends or friends of friends. It felt like such a slap in the face even though I knew that no one was trying to hurt me with their news. Even tonight, I wonder if there is someone who is hearing of my news and feeling that same sense of dread or panic or sadness or outright anger. I hope not, but I understand if they do. It makes me want to put an asterisk under my post with a note that explains what exactly we've been through in the last 18 months.
I'm sensitive in a way that I have never known before and I am grateful in a way that I've never known before.
I am also relieved to have had a fantastic anatomy scan. I was happy that the same doctor who preformed my CVS test was the one who would be reviewing my ultrasound. After the tech finished up her part, he came in to go over everything with us. The first thing he said was , "Don't worry, I'm not coming at your with a needle this time." It was nice to be so much more relaxed this time. I've always had a small fear of spina bifidia and I asked him if he would be able to detect any spinal deformities. He very matter of factly responded, "Your baby does not have spina bifidia. Your baby looks perfectly healthy." He told me that he didn't expect to see me again and wished us well. Dr. CVS then printed out some 4D pics for us to take home. If you want my honest opinion, they aren't my favorite. In fact, we opted not to show them to Toddler T because they looked a little scary. My absolute favorite is the profile shot of the face. I have one from when Toddler T was 20 weeks and honest to God, he still has the same exact profile. We'll have to see if Tiny T's profile matches the ultrasound one day!
Oh, and before I forget..... we got further confirmation of our CVS testing results.
Gender guesses anyone?