On the other side of the curve.

This morning, I had my 20 week checkup. I also brought with me a special guest. He's about 37 inches tall and was fascinated with the buttons on the exam table and wanted to get his blood pressure checked.  Yes, Toddler T made his first appearance at a doctor's appointment. He walked right up to the front desk and loudly announced, "My mommy has a baby in her tummy and my baby is coming at Christmas-time." This made both myself and the receptionist laugh.  He then accompanied me to get weighed.. (ugh) and was very curious about the orange 'juice' that I got.  He didn't quite get that it was medicine, so when we returned from the appointment, I promptly put it on a high shelf. Little did he know, that that 'juice' was the key component of my glucose tolerance test. This time, the nurse told me NOT to skip breakfast and that the drink is best cold. I honestly don't remember it being too bad from the first time so I'm not too worried about it. 

The visit itself was FAST. Like in and out in about 7.5 minutes. Was this because the doctor was efficient or because Toddler T was rolling around the office on the doctor's stool? I'll never know. It was sort of an odd appointment for several reasons. First, the doctor was the one that was paged down to the ER when I was readmitted for blood loss. He was the doctor that I had my post-surgery follow up with and he was the one that assured me that A. my ectopic was a fluke and B. I would go on to have as many children as I wanted.  Our personalities don't exactly mesh, but I know he's a smart guy. He seemed to remember me or he quickly scanned my chart. He gave me a big congratulations and said he was happy to see me after coming through the ectopic. I almost wanted to ask him to scan a little further, because after he last saw me things got a little nutty. But, I didn't because he was being nice. He commented that Tiny T had a great heartbeat, strong and steady. He told me to take Tylenol for my back, visit a chiropractor if the pain was too unbearable and reviewed my recent blood work as perfect. 

Then we discussed delivery. The doctor commented that Toddler T was delivered via C-section because he was a big baby for my smaller frame and that we would monitor the size of this baby to determine whether or not I'd have a repeat c-section or VBAC.  I almost laughed right then and there and really wanted to ask him to keep flipping through my chart. Not only am I not on board with a VBAC, BUT the previous doctor suggested removing my remaining fallopian tube at the TIME OF MY REPEAT C-SECTION. It was a little annoying, but I feel confidant that I will not get talked into a  VBAC. 

You might wonder why I am adamant about having a second C-section.  Well, I will tell you. First, I am aware that it is major surgery and that recovery time can be longer. I am also aware of the fact that this country has a very high rate of C-sections. I also realize that it is very realistic that many women may choose and be successful at having a vaginal birth after Cesarean.  BUT, I have had a lot of surprises come my way this past year. I'm sort of over them. We have had to make quick decisions on where Toddler T was going to stay and who was going to watch him during the past two hospitalizations. Things did not go smoothly for a very long time and I'm too anxious for the unknown. I fear going into labor only to wind up with an unplanned c-section, which was exactly what happened with Toddler T. I just.need.to.have.a.plan. This is why I needed to know if Tiny T was a Mr. or a Miss.  This is why I want to walk into a hospital and into an operating room instead of how I've gone in the last 4 times. Scared, weak, sick and sad. 

Hopefully, no one challenges me too much on this.