A Rainbow Baby

Have you heard of this term? 

I have. In fact, I follow a blog with this term right in her blog title.

But, I have a confession.

I never understood what it meant. 

I didn't take too much time to investigate, because I never felt like I fit into this world of infertility. 

I assumed it had to do with the beauty that is a baby.

Today, I got the most beautiful message sent to me from a friend, who paid her dues to the infertility club. She is on the other side and the proud mother of twins. 

Here it is:

This made me think of you...you will have your rainbow baby...one day:

Rainbow Babies" are the understanding that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. When a rainbow appears, it does not mean that the storm never happened or that the family is not still dealing with its aftermath. What it means is that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and the clouds. Storm clouds may still loom over but the rainbow provides a counterbalance of color, energy, and much needed hope."

I felt like an idiot for never having investigated the term. It is the most perfect way to sum up the last 12 months. We have been through a storm. Two, if I am being technical.  I'm not quite sure that the pain of these experiences will ever go away in their entierty. I am sure, that this pain will change form. I am sure that it will move to the background a little more everyday.  It will become a little more dull and less sharp.  

Throughout the past 12 months, I have felt ravaged, physically and emotionally. There have been days when I have been full of hope and days where I make peace with being a family of three. What this quote does, is pay tribute to the road many of us have found ourselves traveling while looking to the promise of the future. 

While I wait for my rainbow baby, I am strengthened by our friends and family. They have stepped in to provide the sunshine and hope when I feel dark and scared. 

Rainbow baby, we are waiting with open arms.