Running Late and Chocolate Cake

I woke up and it was light out. 

LIGHT OUT.

Why is that a problem?

Well, its only a problem if you are supposed to be at the baby lab at 7:30am. AND said baby lab is approximately 45 minutes from your house. AND its the winter and it should be dark if you are waking up at 6am.  But no, it was light out, because I was LATE. I am never LATE. In my world, LATE is a four letter word.

I had to call the office. I was mortified. I mean who oversleeps on a day that her IVF cycle is officially starting. I actually said, "My alarm didn't go off". The nurse responded, "Well, we are very busy." My stomach flipped over. 

In the end, I got there when I got there and no one gave me the side eye. Blood draw was excellent. ( I drank tons of water). The ultrasound was well, an ultrasound. For those of you doing fertility treatments... you know how they are. I did appreciate when the nurse introduced herself and said, I'm Nurse Curly Hair... As If we'd never crossed path's before.  I remembered her very clearly from when I was a sobbing mess of a patient, on the table,who just realized her IVF cycle was being cancelled. Clearly, she made more an impression on me, than I on her. 

Sobbing girl who can't get pregnant, Sigh, Next.

But that was the past, today is a new day. I got my calendar. I start injections tomorrow. Lupron, Bravelle and Menopur 2 times a day. Mr T and I will also begin taking our antibiotics in preparation for the retrieval.  I got a little giddy when I saw HCG and Retrieval written on the calendar. Giddy but then the floor fell out from under me. The funny thing is, I can't even blame the drugs for these crazy fluctuations in my thought process, because I haven't even started them yet. But no sooner was I excited about getting started, was I filled with dread that it wouldn't work. 

I asked the nurse, "Is this going to work?"

Seriously?

She can't answer that with any validity.

I know that.

But I asked anyway.

Her answer was awesome. "It worked last time. We just want more eggs this time."

Thank you. 

From my appointment I headed to the pharmacy. I felt like a veteran. I ordered only enough meds to get me to my next appointment. But then an odd thing happened. I saw the husband of a patient I had just seen in the waiting room of our clinic. Do I smile? Do I acknowledge that we just came from a place full of mixed emotions? Does he think we are united in our membership of this club? 

So, I smiled. And moved on. 

I came home and unloaded and organized all of my medications. Pulled some of the leftover supplies out of the closet and dusted them off. My sharps container is next to Clorox wipes and on the same shelf as Toddler T's bubbles. Three items in my home, that for very important and different reasons, need to stay out of his hands. 

So today was a good day. Here is a brief summary:

Cleared to start injections. (Yeah, twice-daily injections with two different needles.)

Toddler T accompanied me on a morning's worth of errands in BIG-BOY underwear.

Toddler T kept said underwear DRY.

I scored a $369 car seat for $190. 

I just finished eating a large piece of chocolate cake.

Sometimes, Its the little things.