Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Hang on, Its Cycle Day 2

And so the ride begins. 

Toddler T and I were lucky enough to have a sleepover party with Mana last night (my mom). While Mr. T was out of town on a fun golf work trip, I needed to get to an early morning doctors appointment. So, Mana packed a bag and slept in the guestest room (at least that's what Toddler T called it).  

I had one awkward moment during my blood draw. The poor nurse just couldn't seem to find a vein and all the while 1 Stick Wonder Betty was pacing around the blood draw room. I wanted so badly to just please ask Nurse Betty to step in and get the job done sans the under the skin fishing for the vein. But, I thought that might be in poor taste. So, I waited until the Nurse couldn't do and then Nurse Betty flashed me a smile and bam- 1 Stick! Done and Done.  I wonder if I can just page Nurse Betty everytime I need blood work done. She knows that she's the only one who gets on the first try and so do I. 

I find this clinic to be so official. Because I am officially starting today, I got a mini-physical. Blood Pressure, Height, Weight (So not fair to be weighed after Mr. T has been out of town for 5 days and I've been living off of kid-friendly food and not my diet!).  Ultrasound was good and the blood work just came back. I am good to start my stimulation medications tonight. 

I am trying to take it one day at a time. I feel slightly less crazy and I think it has something to do with dropping the Lupron. I received an email from a family member who pointed out that everything is growing in the spring and why should I be any different. I want this to be my cycle. I would love to look at Mr. T and know that we were past all of this. 

This morning as I was waiting to be called back for my blood draw, a couple walked out of the back office and checked out. I noticed that they were holding a tell-tale 3x5 inch grainy picture. I heard the girl tell the receptionist that they were so surprised the baby was bigger since their last ultrasound and soon they'd be 'graduating' to her ob/gyn.  I was a little surprised by my reaction. I wasn't jealous. I thought, "Good for you! Congratulations on graduation!" I tried to imagine Mr. T and I leaving the clinic with a grainy picture of our Tiny T and I couldn't. And that made me sad. The weird thing is, I can't imagine it, not because I think that day will never come. But because I am so guarded. I can only look at the next step. Not the bigger picture. My graduation day will be to make it to Egg Retrieval. Right now, I envision, that I will wake up, groggy and disoriented and Mr. T and Dr. Neutral will both be talking about retrieving a fair amount of good looking eggs. Baby Steps.

I left the appointment to go home and bring Toddler T to nursery school. Today was his Easter Egg Hunt and Party. I then turned around and drove to the speciality pharmacy to pick up $800 worth of drugs. Then right back to school to pick him up to go back to Target. I needed to refill my prenatal vitamin and finish off some Dollar Aisle Easter Basket Shopping.  A few things about the Target Pharmacist. 1. I no longer need to tell him my name. 2. He informed me that the prescription for my prenatal vitamin had expired. I laughed and said, "Wow, that's how long I've been at this without being successful." Maybe that was over-sharing, but I got the script in August of 2010. At least I'm not worried about having low folic acid levels.

Now I'm home. Toddler T is napping. I am counting down the minutes until Mr. T arrives. This has been the longest time he's been away, but it has also been the easiest. This year, I wasn't working and being a single mom. And, Toddler T is getting to be more kid and less baby. We Faced-Timed Daddy and he thought that was pretty cool. But still, let's be honest after 5 nights and 6 days of single parenthood... I'm ready for a break. 


  1. One day at a time is a great way to go through a cycle without driving yourself crazy. Focus on what you're doing today. Sounds like your off to a great start! Wishing you lots of luck as you start your stim meds tonight!

  2. You are right, one step at a time. Baby steps! Enjoy your family time and I hope things grow for the both of us this Spring :)

  3. Yes, you need a break.

    I remember graduating from the RE's office and it made me sad. You get such specialized care there and they're so on point that you just don't think anything can compare.

    BTW, I'm glad that *someone* can find a vein on you!

  4. Guarded is ok....hoping this is it for you!!!!

  5. Know what you mean when you say " I can only look at the next step. Not the bigger picture. My graduation day will be to make it to Egg Retrieval."... I can't see our graduation out of the clinic either and feel so genuinely happy when I see other couples there with good news... b/c it reminds me that it can happen, esp when I feel that it's not going to. Going along one step at a time with you... xoxo

    PS. I've taken my blog public again today... so it will be much easier to follow from now on :)) xoxo

    1. baby steps.. its the way to go, right? I'm going to check out the public blog right now!